Liturgically Conflicted

I'm a church-going person.  I'm a retired Christian Education professional too.  I worked for the church--sometimes full time; sometimes part-time--for 11-12 years.  I worked mostly for my parish but spent a little time at another Episcopal church up the road for a little while too.

My own church is incredibly beautiful.  Both the building and the spirit of the place (and the place is really the people).  We have a lot of talent and experience there.  Really gifted people--leaders, preachers, teachers, musicians, authors.  

I have always loved being an Episcopalian.  It's allowed me to really grow my faith in a dynamic way--free to question and draw my own conclusions; free to find my own path to truth, knowing that there are many paths to the same truth.

We worship in a way that is deeply rooted in the past and steeped in Anglican tradition.  We have an amazing choir with a long history of musical excellence.  Both my children grew up in what were then the Boys' Choir and the Girls' Choir.  The boys also sang with the men forming the Choir of Men and Boys, a real English tradition.  My son traveled to England with this choir when he was 11, singing at Lambeth Palace among other historical places of importance.  We have three services every Sunday and one on Saturday evening.

I love our old ways, a lot of our old music, our 126-year-old neo-Gothic building.  But I wonder ... do people who wander in off the street get it?  I mean, do they understand the ancient words, the old music?  I know everyone is drawn to the beautiful architecture.  But do we still translate to people who are looking for a church home?

Two weeks ago we used the Morning Prayer service.  It's a liturgy that focuses on the Word and prayer and has no Eucharist.  I don't love it.  Especially the way we do it now.  I grew up with Morning Prayer.  It was the most commonly used service when I was a child.  I can remember all the prayers and sung canticles still.  To this day.  That's the problem.  We don't get to sing the canticles any more.  Well, maybe one of them.  Morning Prayer has turned into a concert featuring our lovely choir.  That's where I'm conflicted.  I love them.  The choirs of my church are among my favorite musical groups and I like a lot of music.  But if I want to hear them in concert, I'll come to a concert (I wish they did more in concert).  But when I come to worship, I want to be actively involved.  I want to sing and pray corporately.  I don't want to just sit back and appreciate someone else's work and worship.  I feel left out.

This past Sunday we had a sung mass.  It was beautiful and very special.  I'm pretty sure it won't become a regular thing.  But I'm nervous.  It was the celebration of the Feast of All Saints.  Are we going to have a sung mass setting for every feast day?  Will my participation be limited on those days?  Will I feel like Christmas Eve and Easter are just concerts to be appreciated.  And I do, believe me, I do.  The quality of our choirs, our spectacular Skinner organ, talented organist ... I think they're all marvelous.  I just don't want to be left out.

And I don't want people who wander in to feel lost in these ancient rituals.  I want us to find a way to appreciate our past but acknowledge that times have, and will continue to change.  I think we need to consider modernizing a bit.  We could start by investing in and using some of the more up-to-date hymnals.  That would be easy. I can't help but wonder why we're only using one hymnal when we have more than one.  If we are truly interested in growing and reaching more people, we need to have a service that accessible to more people.  Okay, I'm conflicted about that too.  I don't want us to become plain vanilla.  I love all that makes us unique.  It's just that I think what makes us unique can be hard for people who didn't grow up with these traditions.

We had incense this past Sunday.  Another ancient touch, incense.  I love incense.  I wouldn't be sorry if we had it every week.  See what I mean?  Totally in conflict with myself.  There's nothing modern about incense at all.  At the same time we've begun ringing some sort of sanctus bell to start the service.  To get our attention?  That's what those bells are for, right?  To call attention to important parts of the service.  I really dislike sanctus bells.  How is that I don't like the bells but do like the incense (which is meant to do sort of the same thing while invoking Spirit at the same time).

Okay so these are not exactly earth-shattering problems and my internal liturgical wrestling is purely my own issue.  But I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one thinking these thoughts (although I may be the only one at St. Peter's) and if institutional churches are to survive, we need to figure out this cosmic dilemma:  How can we hold on to the past, live in the present and embrace the future with grace and integrity?  I hope we figure it out.  I think the future church depends on it.

~~~

As usual, these are only my opinions ...

St. Peter's Episcopal Church, Morristown

Beautiful stuff happens at St. Peter's like this memorial concert for a dear young person.  My favorite local band performing in my one of my favorite places:
Blaire Reinhard Band at St. Peter's