ReBirth Day, The First One

It was the river that caused it . . . my first rebirth day.  August 28, 2011, Hurricane Irene.  She changed my life forever.  And although she caused a lot of pain and loss (even more for some of my neighbors than for me), it was an experience that I will always value.  Note that I haven't said I wouldn't "change it" or "I'm glad to have had it."  I don't feel either of those things.  I would change it if I could.  I wouldn't have had the destruction that my neighborhood, my town and other towns along the Rockaway, Pompton and Passaic Rivers sustained if there had been any way to avoid it.  I'm not glad that one third of my home is now resident in a landfill somewhere and that the expenses of recovery outran the insurance checks, effectively eliminating my savings accounts.

But there was much value in the lessons learned through having come through the hurricane itself and the hurricane of emotions, confusion and recovery issues that ensued.  The outpouring of love and assistance that came rapidly from every direction was unbelievable.  Our town sprang into action with the precision of a Pentagon-like military team offering rescue and shelter at first and then support, food and endless amounts of information and communication.  I learned that I will always consider Denville, New Jersey my home.  No matter where I end up.  When a group of strangers from the dry side of town showed up 6 days later, when the 5 feet of water and sewage had finally receded from my family room, I was stunned and grateful.  They removed so much of the detritus that had been my furniture, books, games, toys, art, Christmas stuff and laundry and bathroom fixtures and whatever else was in the fully finished basement of my house.

My friends and family are the rock that I stood on during the whole recovery.  They came and cleaned, removed doors, carried more stuff out to the mounting piles that formed small hills along the front of my house.  My neighbors arrived at my house within a nano-second of the tree's landing on the roof and went into my attic to inspect the damage when I was too shaken to find out what more I had to deal with.  My co-workers covered for me for hours on end while I attended meetings at town hall, raced home to see insurance adjusters and contractors.  They raised money to help in my recovery and that of another staff member who lost most of her home too.

I learned that I have coping skills I was unaware of.

I learned that when you have no control, there is much you can still control.

I learned--for real--that stuff is just stuff and you can carry on without all your "stuff."  Except my high school yearbooks.  I really do miss having those.

I learned that I have so many people to lean on (from the Red Cross truck that brought meals to the neighborhood to all those whom I know and love and those whose names I never did find out) that I should be embarrassed by the richness in my life.

I learned that nothing brings people together like disaster followed by determination.  The strength we found in one another in the aftermath of Irene was, and continues to be, a precious resource.

August 28, 2011 is my rebirth day because it woke me up to my life again.  It brought me out of a stagnant way of life revolving around meeting deadlines and doing what needed to get done and taking one day at a time to rethinking my future, my priorities and my way of being in the world.  I hope it changed me for the better--I think it did.  Time will tell in the end.