Troublesome

It's just a pair of shoes, right?  Maybe ... but these shoes have been haunting me for a day now.  

I think I've mentioned that I once worked for a church.  Actually I worked for my church--two stints as Church School Director that totaled about 12+ years altogether.  It began as volunteer work, then became paid part time.  After my divorce, I took on youth work and found myself a full-time staff member.  However, after a few years, I decided it was time to leave and find a regular 9-5 job with a Monday-Friday schedule.  Single motherhood and night/weekend work were taking a toll on me and my little family.  I found my current job (I'm the administrative assistant to a school superintendent in a tiny district near my home)  and have held this job for longer than any other I've had.   Some years passed and my church called and asked if I would step in to lead the children's ministry again, part time.  I went back for 3 or so years.  In between my tenures there I did children's ministry and youth work too for another church a bit north of here. My home church is in a suburban town with a bit of urban flair, just about 45 miles west of New York.  

I'm currently still involved in one ministry at my church.  It's called Parents' Night Out.  I'd started it during stint #2.  We provide babysitting, activities, dinner and a movie for kids so parents can go have dinner and some alone time once a month.  It's important for parents to be able to connect on an adult level and have some one-on-one time regularly.  It's equally important for single parents to have some respite time too--to socialize or just catch up on whatever needs doing without their ever-present little ones.  However, for some families, the cost of a sitter is prohibitive (have you heard what enterprising babysitters command these days?) so we charge only a modest amount for the food.  It's been a popular ministry.

Yesterday when I arrived I was informed that a homeless person had been discovered sleeping that morning in one of the rooms we use for PNO.  It was a person whom I knew by sight and reputation--this person has been homeless for quite a long time.   The uninvited guest had entered through a door that had been left unlocked.  We have unlocked doors all the time in churches.  There are meetings every night of the week in most church buildings ... Bible studies, AA, literacy coaching, Boy and Girl Scouts, yoga, there's no end to the ways communities use their church's spaces.  A homeless person who knows his or her community well, knows which doors to check on a wintry evening.  These folks are used to slipping around in shadows, unseen by society.  It would be easy to hide out in a darker corner of a building until activities were over for the night.

Staff had been suspicious that someone had been entering because a pair of shoes had been discovered.  And the shoes were still there.

Worn, sturdy black shoes, crusted with salty stains that told the story of traipsing through town during this winter's harsh, snowy days and nights.  Why were they left behind?

If you've ever worked in social services or read newspaper articles about homeless shelters, you know that shoes are about the most important possessions a homeless person could have.  When you're on your feet much of the day, you need your shoes.  If you're sleeping in the out of doors, most times of the year, you need something on your feet.  Shoes are expensive and are not the most donated item when it comes to clothing donations.  Those of us with closets full of them, don't tend to give them away.  There's something kind of weird about feet and shoes ... There are plenty of coat drives to help our less fortunate neighbors ... but I've never heard of a shoe drive to collect shoes and boots for those who need them.

I couldn't look away from those shoes all night.  I almost hoped the person would come back for them so my mind would be eased.  But then, would it be?  How much at ease can my mind be knowing that a homeless person has found their footgear?  Why is he or she homeless to begin with?  Or, more cosmically, why is there homelessness at all?  This is a country rich in resources.  It's a moral crime that we can't solve this problem.  

Okay, I know that the reasons for homelessness are as many and varied as the homeless ones themselves ... a less than perfect economy, the "-isms" (like alcoholism), a long list of mental illnesses (which our sleepover guest suffers with) and many more.  

It will take true cooperation and unwavering long-term commitment from all sectors of society if we are truly going to be able to really reduce the numbers of homeless in our communities.  The issue is huge and ungainly--what works in one community may not in another; what helps one homeless person may not help another.  Like many overwhelming problems, it's sometimes easier to pretend it's not there. 

But those shoes ... they are troubling me.